Tuesday, December 23, 2008

Happy Festivus!

Happy Festivus everyone! That's right, it's today. Now, in keeping with the time honored tradition, let the airing of the grievances begin. I will start:

John, for saving my life by spraying me down with a fire extinguisher. I would thank you except for the minute detail of there not being a fire. Watch your back...

Mitch, for not getting an elk because you turned into a giant pussy when it got cold. You are an embarrassment to foresters everywhere.

The media, for reporting on science in a manner that does more damage than good and labeling everyone you interview as an "expert" in their field no matter how much of an r-tard they might be.

Jenny McCarthy, for being one of the aforementioned r-tards.

Barrack, Seriously, you can give up the fake christianity thing now. You won.

ERV, Pharyngula, SBM, and Respectful Insolence, for feeding my ADHD by allowing me a new subject with just the click of a mouse.

Jesus, for hating gay people. If you don't, shame on you for not conveying that to your earthly followers.

Pirates, for not being cool pirates like Johnny Depp. The FSM is watching.

God, You are not real and yet you have almost as much power over the world as the ipod does. Amazing but unfair.

Evil Monkey, Leave Chris alone. He's a nice kid.

Add your own grievances in the comments if you like.

1 comment:

MitchW said...

I'd like to air a grievance with my dog:

Grizzly, damn you for getting cracked and bleeding paws, thereby forcing me to leave the solstice party early, whereupon I was unable to talk more with Shane's very cute sister's half-sister...
(And it would have been nice to hang with the two Bowe's and the rest of the McKercher family some more, as they are really a neat group of people.) Happy festivus Shane!

p.s. -- We would have had to move camp to get into elk again after the @$$holes with the 4-wheeler incident. And yes, I feel like a gigantic pussy after bailing. But at least I shot a bear the year before!